Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I understand how hurricane paths work

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

How do I beat domestic battery charges against my covert narcissist husband who is lying and playing the victim?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I'm pretty sure that my dog is transgender, how would I go about transitioning it?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

What's an uncomfortable truth you've learned to accept?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

What sexual fantasies do you have?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Do you think cheating is that bad?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I see through liars

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

How is digital marketing important for business?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I'm a 28-year-old guy who has never been in a relationship, nor can I seem to find someone who wants to be in one with me. Why do I feel like a freak?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

What will the legacy of Jimmy Carter be in light of his death today at 100?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Why have cell phones, the internet, and reality TV turned the world into a toilet, as this has not advanced us in any way?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Is there a type of function where every point has exactly one tangent line passing through it? If yes, what is this type of function called?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Georgia-Alabama game time, TV Network among those announced by ESPN - DawgNation

I have complete contempt for fakery

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Why does the God of the Bible condemn homosexual acts?

I can read

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I actually pay taxes

What baseball stories from the early days of the sport seem too bizarre to be true?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t buy bullshit

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I can count

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I took the same Oath and took it seriously